Stress Factor

There is a wise man on the internet, who has the courage to be brutally honest about himself, and I respect him. Recently, he mentioned something about stress. And that struck a chord with me.

He said, in his very long vlog, "I enjoy stress, because when I'm stressed it's like the breaking point. The make or break of it all, and that pressure makes me get stuff done. When I'm stressed, I get stuff done. I even like exams, over not having exams because of the adrenaline rush you get from them, and I got withdrawals after exams were over. There's something about stress, when there's a problem to be solved and you're under a time limit, it causes stress; then you succeed and there's something satisfactory about it all, and it makes you feel good.
But I'm just starting to realise why stress may not be good for me."

He mentioned this and it made something aware in myself. Because, like him, I revel in stress. I love the pressure, and I put it on myself, because in the end, I get stuff done. But also like him, I am recently under a lot of stress, and I now realise why people say stress is bad for you.
Too much stress, puts you under too much pressure. I have practice exams next week, I have the most intense production I have ever done and it's going on right now, I have had 5 other courses on top of the drama one, and I have also had the added pressure off looking after myself during the winter months. All of which have failed miserably.
As I write this, I am stuck at home, in bed sick, away from my courses, not allowed to participate in extra drama stuff except for the production and no revision going on.

Stress is something I quite like. I like it so much that when I have almost too much of it, it's gotten to a point where I no longer recognise stress, but instead just file it under 'not important' and I consciously don't actually see that I have stress going on. My body does, and I get very oily skin and pimples etc, but apart from that I never know.
So yeah. Stress, a varying factor in my life that had recently become too much and probably not helping my depression or anything, because emotionally, as you know, I am pretty much beaten down on that front. I am also pretty much beaten down now on the stress front. Gimme a few days and I should be back to the not-so-bad-I-can-deal-now type of person, because the production (my MAJOR stressor for the past few months) will be over and done with. On that note, it doesn't help that I'm sick, and the lead. It's causing me to do really shitty vocal work, and that doesn't help anybody, least of all myself out. So yeah... added stress...YAY!! (Not).

I don't know. I think I'm just rambling, now. I'll probably visit this at a later date to a point.

Stressed-out-sick-and-vocally-impaired-human-being ( :D )
Samantha